DEAR DAD..

When i was a small kid, i used to play lot in the evening. There was temple a little far from my house. The water in the temple used to taste sweet so after playing in dust under sun i used to go there and drink that sweet water.

One evening i went there and did the same thing, drank a lot of sweet water and refreshed myself.
The temple was a meeting place for many old people who had nothing to do entire day.

i saw some people were sitting under s tree and listening to a very old man. i just went there out of curiosity. i heard them talking. The old man was very tall but due to his age he was bent like a bow, his eyes had no lights and almost looked blind to me. His face was like a deserted village which was abandoned 300 years ago. he was crying and talking to people.most of the old women were crying too hearing his story.

He was a electrician in some company around 30 years ago, he got married and had 4 sons.
He and his wife worked very hard and brought up their child. gave them good education and good life.
He said he has a 1 Bed room house that time. All his sons were well educated and got very good jobs in good companies. He and his wife could manage to arrange 3 sons marriage but before the 4th one could get married she died. The old man arranged his 4th son marriage also.
Now all his sons were happily married and well settled in 4 different parts of the country.

They left him alone once he retired. The old man said i could manage to bring my 4 sons in one bed room and they are very rich and successful now. But they could not keep their old dad in their 4 bed room flats.

The man said now i have no source of income. He lives in a hut and cooks for himself. he get 700 rs per month as pension and he is selling pan(bettle) to manage his life.

He does not even know where does his sons stay and how many kids they have.etc.
He said if i die i am scared that my sons will not even know about my death and will not give the last fire on his chita..

I was scared to see all old women and the man crying so i ran back home had my dinner and slept near my father.

While he was sleeping i watched him. I never saw that he had grey hairs. he had wrinkles and he was getting old.

He gave me the best education possible for a child. he financed my engineering and never asked me a question why do i need so much money apart from my tution fees.

Now i am an engineer in a big firm and earning double of what my dad got as his last and final salary.

I went home in feb-2010, i saw my dad, he was old think and black due to winter. I saw him he needs a support to stand and cant walk fast.

I saw the same old man in my dad.

What is going to be in future? i smoke spend so much on drinks and part. if my dad would have spend so much like this, would i have been an engineer?

This kill me. I spend 40 rs a day on Smoke, and i saw in my old house my mummy can manage to buy 3 days vegetables in 40rs.

I spend 2000 rs a weekend for drinks and parties, I saw the home grocery bill. it was 1680 rs.

I felt ashamed of my self. i felt like crying. i felt like hanging my self..

But i am the so called HUMAN RACE.

I am writing this blog when i have already finished half a bottle of RUM and looking for the last packet of Smoke left in my Bag.

I am sorry papa. But i will try to be a good son.